loving can mend your soul
by caterinascorsones
Summary: Set after 9x01. Amelia learns about the plane crash and flies to Seattle for the sake of both Derek and Meredith. What she doesn't expect is what happens once she's there.
1. Chapter 1

"Where is he?" I was out of breath and the sun was shining outside which never happened in Seattle. My brother and his wife weren't answering their calls, Lexie was dead and Mark was unconscious. I didn't know what worried me the most but it made me fly all the way from LA to Seattle. I was never a person who'd follow her gut but my gut wouldn't shut up this time and it frightened me. "Where _is_ he?" I asked again, louder. This nurse continued clicking buttons which did nothing to calm my nerves.

"What's going on here?" A tall man with curly ginger hair walked towards us, shifting his gaze from the nurse to me.

"I have been asking this nurse a question repeatedly for the past five minutes and all she's done is stare at that ugly phone instead of answering me!" I hated drawing attention and I wasn't the type of person who'd scream in frustration and hurt everyone else in the process but I've been through this before. My father died in front of me when I was a young child and I couldn't lose anyone else.

A plane crash. That's all Addison knew or maybe that's all she told me because she wasn't ready for me to snap just yet. All those cautious looks from the other members of the practice gave me a bad vibe and it drove me all the way to Seattle. Maybe I had a right to snap and kill everyone in the process until I got the comfort I wanted. Or maybe all I wanted was someone to be completely blunt with me and just admit that everyone I love is now dead.

"Alright alright, calm down. She's probably drowned in other orders-"

"So that's how you work here, ignore the concerns of your patients?" He opened his mouth to reply but shut it immediately. No wonder why Derek loved this place, they had a shitty patient care service.

"Ms-"

"It's _Doctor_. Can I please talk to the chief of something? Chief of surgery would suffice."

The ginger haired man seemed to hold in his remark and nodded his head, stepping back and then stepping forward back to his previous place. He looked up and forced a smile, "you're speaking to the chief of surgery."

Well... Shit.

"I need to talk to Derek... Or Meredith, immediately." He looked concerned for me and dropped his gaze to the floor. Oh god no, this can't be happening. "Oh god, something happened to them. Where are they? Are they okay? ICU? Morgue?-"

"No no no no, nothing's wrong. They're fine. It's just that... They're not seeing any patients right now so you should check the doctor that was assigned to you instead. Wha-"

"Where's Derek?" I stomped my foot impatiently and screamed at the top of my lungs. "Just take me to Derek for gods sake and shut the _fuck_ up!"

"Amelia?" I turned around and spotted Cristina standing there with her mouth agape. Cristina was a very close friend to Meredith, Derek's wife. If Meredith and Derek weren't married, I'd think these two were lesbian lovers. I even called them 'Asian lovers' for a while even though Meredith wasn't Asian. I couldn't have been happier to see a familiar face. I ran to her and hugged her so hard. "What's going on? Your voice can be heard from the other side of the building."

I pulled back an arm's length and studied her quickly, "How have you been holding up? I heard about the.. Addy didn't tell me much but God you all scared me. Are you okay?"

Cristina frowned and looked away, "I'm trying my best and it's better than nothing, you know?"

"Cristina?" There he was again, that annoying ginger haired man who couldn't help but ruin everything for me.

"Listen you son of-" I turned around and pointed a finger at him, I was ready to beat the shit out of him if he spoke another word.

"Amelia, shut up. Owen, why didn't you just send her up to Derek already?" Cristina asked, holding me from my shoulders to refrain me from pouncing on him.

"Oh, so you expect me to send anyone who asks about Derek up to him? It doesn't work like that, Cristina."

"I am not anyone-"

"Amelia if you open your mouth one more time, I'll make sure to call security and lock you up with first year interns. Shut up." She taunted me and I raised my eyebrows at her, "Owen, just send her up to him, I have a surgery in ten minutes and I need to get prepped. Don't. Piss. Her. Off."

Great. Now I was stuck with Ginger boy. He didn't look too pleased to be stuck with me either but he nodded his head towards the elevator and I followed him there. We didn't say a word on the way to the elevator and I knew that I'd cut into his brain if he decided to say something remotely annoying. Once we were in the elevator, awkward silence filled the air and i shifted from one foot to the other. "Owen, huh?"

He seemed surprised that I actually spoke to him, making me feel like this was the first time I spoke since birth. "Yeah, that's me. And you must be Amelia," I nodded my head and looked up, five more floors to go. "Are you close to Derek? I mean, your name doesn't click and that's probably why I assumed you were one of his furious patients who wanted to shoot him again." He nervously chuckled and scratched the back of his neck.

"Oh trust me, I'm ready to shoot both Derek and Meredith at once. Just came here to get the room number and floor to set up my sniper and take them both down." His eyes were a good mixture of green and blue, his ginger hair was filled with tiny little curls that would wrap around your finger and he had a strong figure. I shook my head and looked away.

The elevator doors opened and Owen ushered me to room 730 where Derek was seated on the bed with Meredith who looked fast asleep. I stood by the door and just stared at him. His hand was bandaged and he kept stroking it whilst Meredith was a mess, she had a couple of cuts on her forehead and she looked like she hadn't taken a shower in weeks or hadn't bothered to brush her hair for that long. Owen looked at me and nodded his head, as if I needed his permission to enter the room.

I softy tapped the door and Derek's head shot up in alert then he relaxed, smiling at me. "Amy, what are you doing here?"

"Thought both of you were dead." I slowly approached him and slumped on the chair next to Meredith. For someone who looked so bad, she was sleeping peacefully and that made my racing heart return to its normal pace. Everyone was okay.

"Well, Lexie is." He said bitterly and looked back at his bandaged hand.

"I heard about that. How's she holding up?" I was too scared to touch Meredith, it could lead to a horrible attack and I wasn't ready to witness that just yet. I got up and moved to Derek, holding his other hand in mine and smiling at him.

"She's not. She wakes up every day asking for Lexie and I hate to be the one to tell her that Lexie is dead and she's never coming back. Did you know that she finally considered joining the neuro team? We would've all done great. The Seattle team would've whipped your ass and cleaned the surface with it."

I smiled at him and pulled his head towards my chest, cradling it like a little child and patting his hair. I was his little sister but sometimes he needed me to be the bigger one. "I'm sorry. I was going to visit Mark after this, you know. He's not getting any better, is he?"

"No." He answered bitterly and tried pulling away from me but I pulled on his hair and made him stay there. "He watched Lexie die, did you know that? He stayed with her every second of that day and kept telling her how much he loved her. He was so close to dying and she died and no one was there, Amy. No one was there."

"I know." I held him close to me and shook my head, none of them deserved this. No one did.

"Hunt, you shouldn't just stand there like a stranger. Come in and share your feelings with this therapist." Derek jokingly added, trying to shift the mood. I turned around to spot ginger hair still standing at the door and smiling at us. He tentatively walked in and sat on the chair next to Meredith.

"I didn't know you were a therapist." Owen said, looking at me. Owen Hunt was his name and I never heard about him. I wasn't even sure if he was close with Derek or not.

"Therapist? Derek, don't give him a wrong idea. People would pay me to stay away from them." I shoved him playfully and a laugh erupted from Derek, which made me feel a lot better.

"How do you two know each other?" Owen asked curiously, this question was probably haunting him ever since I spoke to Cristina.

"You don't introduce me to your Seattle friends? What a shame. I'd think you'd be proud to show me off instead of Nancy." I told Derek, running my hands through his hair. It started when we were pretty young and the habit seemed to stick. Owen seemed confused at the mention of Nancy. I was right then, they did know Nancy.

"Owen, this is my little sister, Amelia." Derek proudly announced and I smiled at him, moving my gaze to meet Owen's. He looked ashamed and embarrassed, shaking his head and covering it with his hands.

"I should've known. You two look so much alike, it's frightening me now."

"So we've been told. And are you really chief or were you trying to shut me up?" I asked, slightly pulling at Derek's hair to hear him groan in pain. He pinched my side in response and i squeaked, moving away from him.

Owen chuckled nervously and smiled, "I really am chief. Chief of surgery to be exact."

"Shut me up? Was she making a scene downstairs?" Derek asked, giving me a look and turning back to Owen.

"Oh, you have no idea! She kept screaming at Ruby and poor Ruby looked like she was about to piss her pants right there and then." Both Owen and Derek chuckled and I looked at them in exasperation.

"She would stare at me like I'm an animal who speaks! I kept asking about you and she would chirp, literally chirp like a bird in response!"

"Poor Ruby," Derek said after wiping his tears. "Amy, she's like the janitor of the hospital. She was probably calling in for some supplies."

"How would I know that? And why was she standing in the place where people who normally assist patients stand? Chief, I would like to file a complaint." They all laughed for a good two minutes before the laughter toned down.

Derek looked at Owen and spoke, his face turning serious again, "I found someone to help me until my.." he looked down at his hand and looked back at Owen. "until I can operate again."

Owen nodded his head, "you don't have to rush into this, Derek."

"I know but people need help and I hate turning them down because I can't work yet!" He announced angrily. He sighed and continued, "so I've thought about it for a couple of days and I've decided."

"And who did you pick?" Owen looked like he'd agree on anyone Derek recommended, even if he chose a horse. They seemed like good friends, probably not the closest but two men who'd hang out after work at the bar or someone he'd invite for Thanksgiving.

Derek smiled and pushed me forward, "Amelia."

Wait, _what_?

"Derek..."

"She's very good at what she does, right after me. She takes her job very seriously and could operate on things that I would definitely never consider," Derek continued. "Try her for a week and see how she goes. Follow her every move and the way she handles patients. I'll show you her files and she's a double certified neurosurgeon. She's really good, Owen."

"Derek."

"Amelia."

"What are you doing?" I asked incredulously, "don't take this in the wrong way, I'm so glad that you picked me to replace you for a while but didn't you think that _maybe_ , just _maybe_ , you should've consulted me first?"

"Amelia."

"I can't just pack my bags and move to Seattle. I've got a job back home, a place, friends and most importantly, a life. I can't pause and come here temporarily."

"I talked to Addison and she said she wouldn't mind if you came here for a while. I won't stretch it, no more than three months and you can go back. It's not an obligation of course, I picked you because you're in my best interest. If you don't want to move, I get it. We'll find another neurosurgeon and I'll send my patients to you if I feel like they can't handle them." Derek said. He had this planned for a while.

"You talked to Addison." I stated dully.

"I consulted Addison and asked her if you'd move here because I wanted you. You were my first choice."

"But you didn't think to consult me?"

Derek sighed and shook his head, "I was too scared for your answer and I didn't know if they'd accept you to replace me. I didn't want to hurt you-"

"You don't have to protect me." I shook my head and slowly backed away from him.

"You're right."

"So _this_ was your plan? Scare me into thinking you're dead and making me stand in front of the chief of surgery and putting him in an awkward position?" I shifted my gaze to meet Owen's. "Don't feel pressured, you can reject me right here and now. You're the higher power here. No one's going to get hurt."

"I was going to tell him that I'd have to look into you, talk to people and obviously get a copy of your CV. It doesn't work like that over here, Ms-"

" _Doctor_ Shepherd." I corrected.

"-Dr. Shepherd. I'm not sure about how it works back where you come from but we take this _very_ seriously."

"I'm glad you guys are capable of taking something seriously. Maybe take your patients seriously next time instead of putting janitors in the place of nurses." I shot back and looked at Derek, shoving my hand in his direction. "I need the keys to your house, I'm exhausted and I need a long nap right now before i set up my sniper and shoot you all."


	2. Chapter 2

It was too cold outside today, how do people even handle this weather at all? I shivered and pulled my jacket closer to my body. Derek kicked some sense into me, he knew that if I was head of neuro I would never decline his offer. That damn bastard knew how to play me very well.

I wasn't one who'd get nervous on first days but for some reason, I was scared shitless. It was either that or my brain was incapable of keeping my nerves intact due to the unreasonably cold weather. I walked in the hospital and exhaled, my body was slowly adjusting to the heat. I wasn't aware of how cold Seattle got in the fall, I always thought Addison was exaggerating whenever she'd come back and sit outside in L.A heat to 'absorb the heat her body needed'.

"Good morning, Dr. Shepherd." I turned around to be greeted by Derek, who was leaning on the door with a tiny smirk on his face. "You're a few minutes early."

"Ah, your new job is to stalk your little sister and see what she's got hidden under her sleeve. I've already thought of ways to slowly destroy your reputation but don't worry, I'm too shaken up from how cold it is to start my evil plan just yet." I announced, walking in the attending's lounge and removing my jacket.

"Oh, because people don't know that there are two Dr. Shepherd's?" He asked as he chewed on an apple. I sneakily looked at his bandaged hand and notice how Derek hadn't even looked at it so far. This was a good sign.

"Of course they do but they're not all entirely aware of how your little sister is about to dominate the world of neurosurgery. Not yet, big brother. Not _yet_."

* * *

I forgot how exhausting it was to work in a hospital. It was a really slow day in the beginning, I only had a bunch of consults and a lot of paperwork but once I was paged for 911, all hell broke loose. I was pushed into four emergency surgeries and two of them barely survived but with Derek hovering and checking my every move; it led to showing off my best skills and saving them with flying colors. He would occasionally nod or argue with me, informing me about how he would've operated if he was the surgeon on call.

I removed my scrub cap and turned around, anger pouring out of my ears. "Derek, you need to shut up right now."

"I'm just saying Amelia, the optic nerve could've easily been damaged and you just did the riskiest thing you could've done to show off!"

"What are you trying to say?" I walked out of the room and Derek followed, bringing his aura of negativity along with him. "You're fuming! Say it already!"

"You could've killed him, Amy! And for what? Absolutely nothing! I was standing right next to you, my technique was safer and the possible damage percentage was not as high as what you just did!" He grabbed my arm and stopped me, pulling me to the side.

"What I did was for my patient's best interest. You picked me to replace you and all I'm asking is that you respect my decisions and ways of… curing people! The last thing I need in my O.R is my petulant brother screaming at the nurses who are assisting me to do something I did not tell them to do. It was risky, you're right but he could be cured completely. Your method would've required three more surgeries minimum to get him better and extensive care."

"He could be brain dead. A few more surgeries wouldn't hurt him as much as never waking up again."

"It would hurt his kids to see him here for three months, which is even an exaggeration because he would obviously be here way longer to heal. Derek, I'll suffer the consequences but i have a very good feeling about this. I'm not going to beg for your approval every time I make a move and you need to accept that."

"What if I don't?" he asked playfully, all seriousness pushed out of his system.

I smiled and gave him a look; "the next incision I make will include cutting into your brain and feeding it to _Judy_."

" _Judy_!?" he exclaimed, looking around. "Not the lamb!" I laughed and shoved him before he pulled me in for a brief hug.

"You know," I started, pulling away from the hug. "You were never this affectionate with me before I agreed to come work here. Did Meredith stop paying attention to you and isn't satisfying that little ego of yours that you insist on having?"

"I just realized that you're my _favorite_ sister." He patted my head like a little adorable dog and chuckled, groaning in pain from the punch I landed on his shoulder.

"Go home!" I yelled as I walked away from him. "And get laid in the process!"

I was born into a very loud noisy family, three sisters and a brother. Derek was teased all the time for being the only boy of the family but it did help him get the ladies since he knew all the dos and don'ts when it came to handling girls. My sisters weren't as close to me as Derek was. It mainly was because I had gone through a traumatic experience with him by my side as a child and no one really understood what it was like besides Derek. Nancy was the eldest then came Katy, Derek, Liz and then the black sheep of the family. My sisters hated how I, the irresponsible black sheep who partied way too much, got into med school and graduated top of my class. I was _supposed_ to be the black sheep and that achievement ruined the title.

I still remember the day Derek came in my room looking antsy and kept babbling endlessly about this girl he liked. "I want to marry her, Amy. I want to just get a ring, propose and run away to the other side of the world." For a 21 year old, my mom found the idea incredibly insane. He was still in med school but I encouraged him to do it anyway. I met her many times and she was the sweetest person anyone could ever meet, I liked her a little bit more after she snuck in some alcohol and gave it to a reckless sixteen year old. He married Addison six months later. She's still one of my closest friends despite her past with Derek and the divorce issue that happened between them.

I visited the patients for a check up and filled their charts happily, they all seemed to recover better than I expected and a lot faster. "Dr. Shepherd, how's your first day going?"

I looked up to find Owen Hunt, ginger haired guy, smiling at me with a little coffee cup in hand. "A lot more workload than I expected. Maybe accepting the head of neuro position was a bit too much for the first couple of days but I can't lie, I love this all."

"I'm glad," He nodded, still smiling from ear to ear. "Uh… I got you some coffee. I didn't exactly know what you drink, or if you even drink coffee but… think of this as a 'first day of working at the hospital' present!"

"You really didn't have to but I appreciate it," I took a sip from it and smiled. "Thank you very much."

"You're welcome." He awkwardly answered, shifting from one foot to the other, probably hoping he could be somewhere else. I wasn't entirely ready to be left alone just yet.

"Hey, you never told me much about yourself. What's your specialty?" I asked, gulping more of the coffee down. _God_ , I really needed this cup.

"I'm a trauma surgeon, I enjoy working in the midst of a ruckus. It gives me this odd feeling of satisfaction, you know?" his eyes lit up at the mention of what he does.

" _Ah_ , you must've enjoyed the ruckus that happened in the ER today then. I'm so used to working in a practice where I only operate twice a week so having four surgeries in less than twelve hours felt like a dream come true!"

"Have you had the time to go sightseeing around the city?" he asked curiously, tapping on his iPad a couple of times before placing it back in the charging dock.

"Not yet, I've been too busy looking for places to temporarily stay at and I try lifting some workload off Derek and Meredith when I can. I'm hoping to go sometime soon though."

He nodded his head and bit his lip nervously, looking around before meeting my gaze again. "You know, Cristina and I were planning to ride a ferryboat later this afternoon. You should tag along."

I stopped breathing for a second to rationalize my thoughts. Cristina? He was the guy Meredith and Cristina constantly spoke of? He was dating Cristina? Was he asking me out? Or am I looking into this a bit too much? "I'd love to… but I was planning on having another shift to figure my way around the building, take a bit more control since I'm head of the neuro department and all. Maybe some other time?"

"Of course. I'll see you later then." He slowly started walking away and waved goodbye once he reached the end of the hall. Was he asking me out? I shook my head at the inane thought and looked at my pager, happy that I was requested for a consult. I needed something to take my mind off Owen's offer.

* * *

"How long have they been together?" I asked as I shoved a mouthful of rice in my mouth. Callie laughed at the action and shook her head, dipping some French fries in ketchup.

"Owen and Cristina?" Arizona asked, shifting uncomfortably in her place. Callie tried to help but she pushed her away, shaking her head. Arizona had been with them all in the plane crash and in the process, she lost her leg. Callie, her girlfriend and an orthopedic surgeon, was forced to cut it off to save her life but of course, Arizona stubbornly told her that she preferred dying over being a cripple. Ouch. "A good four years. On and off though."

"Why the sudden interest?" Callie asked, dipping her finger in ketchup and completely ignoring her fries. Arizona grimaced at her but decided to stay put and not say anything.

"I didn't know they were together! I mean I knew that she was dating someone but I assumed it was one of those interns she talked about a while back."

" _Intern_? She dated an intern?" Arizona looked at Callie in shock, not completely registering the news just yet.

"Don't look at me like that, this is new news to me. Shepherd has been here for less than a week and she knows more than the both of us combined. This is unbelievable!" Callie exclaimed. "I doubt Owen even knows. Now that you mentioned it, you better continue."

"I really don't know anything about it. It might've not even been Cristina! Oddly, I've been to the hospital many times before but I've never seen him. He's been with Cristina for four years too, so he must've been here every time I visited. How didn't I run into him?" I questioned aloud. Callie shrugged her shoulders and scooted a little closer to me, smiling.

"What's really your question?" she smirked at me and I playfully slapped her arm, shaking my head.

"It's nothing like _that_. How close is he to Derek? Derek is a big goop when it comes to privacy but he didn't kick Owen out when I came to see him." I pushed my food around and looked up. I didn't know what bothered me the most, the fact that I never met Owen or the fact that Derek and Owen might possibly be close buddies and he never spoke of him before.

"Good friends, he helped Derek build the porch at his house. A bunch of the guys did actually, they used to go to Derek's house and play golf up there back when it was only a piece of land. It was cute."

Derek never bothered to mention that he built his house from scratch or that his friends volunteered to help him build the house. I had this horrible itch and I felt like _maybe_ , just _maybe_ , Derek was slowly slipping away from my fingers and I couldn't do anything to stop it or it could be that Cristina was dating Owen and I never really knew.

I was definitely bothered by the fact that Derek wasn't telling me everything. It was Derek, not Owen.


	3. Chapter 3

"You never mentioned how Seattle never met the sun." I announced, walking in the attending lounge to find Cristina and Owen glaring at each other. "Oh… I'm sorry, someone told me Derek was in here an-"

"It's fine," Owen brushed it off, putting some distance between him and Cristina. He started brewing some coffee before looking up, "Do you want some?"

"Stop changing the subject," Cristina spat, her face turning red all over again. I was staring at them both with my mouth agape, frozen in place. Owen shook his head and started humming to a beat of a song I heard him play in the OR last week. "You're such a child, do you know that? I carried this… this _thing_ of yours and-and all of you have to say-"

"Not now, Cristina." Owen hissed, throwing her a look over his shoulder.

I put my hands up in the air nervously, "I should go." Before I made my move to leave, Cristina threw her cup across the room and it slammed a meter away from my face. I exhaled sharply and stood, afraid that if I even consider moving, she'll cut me with a piece of glass. She stormed out of the room and made sure to slam the door hard, making most of the frames shake in place. I remained in my place with my eyebrows glued to my hairline, still confused as to what just happened. Fights were messy and I knew that Owen and Cristina weren't the smoothest couple out there from all I heard but it was normal.

He slammed his cup on the table and shook his head angrily, not knowing what to say. "I'm sorry, I'll clean that up in a second," he silently muttered, walking towards me and examining me. "Are you okay? Did you get hit-"

"I'm fine, Owen. Don't worry about it," He seemed to do the exact opposite of what I advised him to do. He started picking each piece of glass one by one and crushing it in his hand, like the harder he held it, the faster it would disappear. I heard a lot about these two, individually and together, but I never knew how intense their relationship got. I didn't know much about either of them since you never had the chance to even communicate with them. It was truly like they lived in their own world, unaware of anyone else's existence. Cristina had always been like that, which is why Meredith was close friends with her. They were both royally messed up friends. I slowly walked towards Owen, placing my hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "Owen, I can clean everything up."

"It's not your mess to clean up." He spat, picking the pieces even faster than before.

"And it's not yours either," I clarified, sitting down next to him and grabbing his arm to stop him. I grabbed his face and made him look at me. "Listen to me, your hand is bleeding. Go wash it up, let me finish this and then I'll help you stitch it back together. Okay?" his blue eyes were forlorn and filled with hurt. I wasn't used to seeing him so upset over something as dumb as a shattered mug but I knew that it dug deep in his heart. I seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. After a couple of seconds, he nodded his head and walked to the sink, cleaning his hand and wrapping a towel around it to temporarily stop the bleed.

He closed the faucet and spoke quietly, "We weren't always like this, you know? I don't blame her for being so angry. I mean, I would be too if I were in her shoes but she just doesn't understand how frustrated I am with everything! She doesn't understand what it feels like to see everything happen right in front of your eyes and not be capable of stopping it or helping it become any easier. Do you know what's it like to see the person you love most hurt and be powerless?" He whispered as he shuffled across the room, sitting on the couch with his hands on his knees. "She wanted to do something for a while now and I couldn't seem to let her do it. I couldn't let her leave me here, stranded in my emotions without asking about my opinion on it or seeing how I felt about it. i… I gave her the world, Amelia. I gave her the world and more, I gave her as much as I could give and I got nothing in return. We made a life together and… she _threw_ it away so easily. She didn't even bat an eyelash. Do I mean that little to her?"

"Owen…" I said, sitting next to him and holding his hand. "Something must've happened between the two of you and from the looks of it, it seemed pretty big but that doesn't mean she doesn't give a shit about you." He continued looking at the ground, clenching and unclenching his injured hand repeatedly as he got lost in his thoughts. I chuckled lightly and continued, "Us girls, we're known for being complicated and hard. It's true, you know. We expect others to understand how we're feeling without sharing our concerns. Have you voiced your concerns, Owen? Does she know how you feel?"

"I can't tell her, Amelia." His voice shook and he finally met my gaze. His blue eyes were filled with unshed tears, his cheeks had reddened and he bit his lip, as if that small action would prevent the tears from falling. My heart visibly broke for him and for Cristina. For them. "She had an abortion and she was carrying my child. She never wanted children and she told me that so many times but I thought she'd keep our baby. I thought she'd keep our baby and give him away for adoption or let me raise him. I thought she'd give our baby a life but she terminated it so _easily_. She knew, _knows_ , how much I want children." He roughly wiped a tear that landed on his cheek and exhaled, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling. "I had it all mapped out, you know? I was born an only child so I always wanted a big family of at least four, didn't matter which sex was a minority and I would make them share bedrooms just to hear them argue all night. I'd be Santa every Christmas, walking around with my big tummy and my long white beard. I'd want to be there for every soccer practice, dance rehearsal, school graduation, date night, prom, marriage, a scrape or a broken hand. My whole life flashed in front of my eyes when she told me. It all came to a screeching halt when she told me that she aborted it two hours ago."

His sobs shook his entire body and he covered his face, embarrassed to be showing so much emotion to some colleague he barely knew. I pulled him towards my embrace and held him for thirty-three minutes. I ran my hands in his hair and it was exactly the way I imagined it would be, his curls instantly wrapped around my finger. My heart broke for him in ways that weren't even explainable and I hated myself for not being capable of healing him and removing his pain. I was a doctor after all, wasn't I? My job was to get rid of pain and to heal people.

He slowly started to pull away after a while, rubbing his eyes and looking at me with the saddest eyes, "I'm sorry, you didn't have to do this. You barely know me and I already burdened you with my problems."

"You did not burden me with anything," I declared, handing him a glass of water. "Hey, are you still up for your offer to take me sightseeing around Seattle? I'm on call so we can't really go anywhere far."

He grinned and stood up, "We'll do just that after you stitch this injured hand of mine."

* * *

"Amelia! I found the pretzel place you kept talking about." Owen said as he slammed his tray on the table, earning glares from all the other tired doctors. Derek looked at him and then gave me a look.

"Which one?" After the sightseeing we did of Seattle a few days ago, Owen seemed to warm up to me. He would still avoid or walk away as soon as Cristina was brought up but it was probably because he confessed everything in the midst of being vulnerable and I shouldn't cross the line until he's comfortable enough to talk about it.

"The one downtown. You could've at least told me that it's not entirely a pretzel place and it's more of a pastries place."

"After walking around Seattle for so long, I wanted some pretzels so I had to improvise and say that I read about this pretzel place online! Do you really think I have the time to Yelp things, Owen?" I asked as I gorged my burger, humming happily.

"You wanted to go sightseeing?" Derek asked, bewildered. He turned to Owen and whispered loud enough for me to hear, "You know, when I offered, she turned me down the exact same second."

"That's because you offered to go on a ferry boat ride." I answered, my voice muffled due to the food I was chewing.

"And what's wrong with ferry boat rides?"

"They're no fun! It's exactly like hoping on a plane or driving around town, where's the thrill in that?" Ever since Derek moved to Seattle, all he talked about were those old hideous ferry boats. He developed this odd relationship with them to the extent that even Addison got worried (Addison never worries over Derek's little odd obsessions. You get used to it as time goes on). I mainly declined his offer because I knew that once he gets on that boat, we're never getting off. Meredith once jokingly stated that they spent one of their dates going back and forth on a ferry boat for six hours straight and I've been horrified of getting close to a ferry boat ever since.

"She moaned and whined the entire time! At one point, I seriously wanted to throw her off but being the good friend I am, I was happy to leave you to it." Owen smugly answered, slapping Derek's shoulder with a sly grin on.

"I came here to enjoy my burger and now I feel personally victimized by both of you. I'd hope you'd be on my side, Owen but you're just one of my brother's little whores." I stated, sipping on my juice. Owen shot me a confused look and turned to Derek, hoping to get an explanation out of him. "Oh, you didn't know he had _other_ whores? Sorry to break it to ya."

"Shut it, Amelia." Derek hissed, already mad at the fact that I brought it up. It was a game Mark and I created a long time back and it was the easiest way to scare Derek's annoying girlfriends away. It was also a great method to get Derek slapped hard.

" _Amelia_? Oh so now we're on a full name basis. What's wrong, brother? Have they stopped paying attention to you?"

Owen, on the other hard, seemed to interpret the situation in a totally different way. "You're cheating on Meredith?" He asked, the shock evident on his face. I choked on my drink and started coughing roughly, not knowing how to react. Maybe this time Derek would get a slap from someone slightly stronger than all his other whores.

"What? No-no! Of _course_ I'm not!" Derek replied, shaking his head furiously and shooting me a glare that could melt brains. "You're only good at ruining things, aren't you?"

"You see," I started, pointing my fork towards Owen to catch his attention. "I don't know what Derek tells his other whores but I'm pretty sure no one's ever stroked his ego as much as you have. Hey Rick, he's a keeper."

Owen immediately understood and chuckled, knowing that this was just a little banter that went on constantly between the two siblings. Derek didn't seem too happy about it though; he quietly continued eating his salad, anger almost pouring out of his ears. It must've been a soft spot that Amelia enjoyed hitting every once in a while. Owen shifted in his seat uncomfortably, wishing he was anywhere but near these two. They were bound to burst any second now but Amelia remained quiet, contently eating her burger and smiling at everyone who passed by. Derek suddenly stood up and looked at Amelia, hissing his next words before storming off, "No wonder why they call you hurricane Amelia."

"Uff, that was rough," I joked, placing my hand on my heart. Owen seemed to ignore what just happened. People were still frozen in their place, shocked to have witnessed precious kind Derek Shepherd's little scene. A doctor, Karev, shouted at the queue to continue moving and that made everyone forget. The cafeteria was filled with noise once again and I exhaled silently.

"Rick?" Owen asked, staring at me. He was trying to get me out of my daze and I appreciated it. Derek probably never introduced me but he might've mentioned that he had a troubled sister with issues yet nobody put it together yet. They didn't call me hurricane Amelia for no reason.

"My niece used to call him that and he absolutely hated it," I answered, playing with the flavored yogurt in my cup. "He said something about it being a cheating businessman name."

"Well then, that definitely changes my view on that name. I'll never call my son Rick anymore."

"Did you like the name?" I asked curiously, taking a mouthful of the yogurt. I made a face the second after I put it in my mouth and shook my head. "This is horrible, how do people eat this?" I asked after swallowing it.

"My grandfather's name was Rick, actually. Hated the guy so it gave me more of a reason to hate the name too." Owen said, pulling the flavored yogurt off of my tray. "Don't insult it, it's too good to be in the hands of someone who looks like she's about to spit it out."

"People turn down fat greasy burgers for _that_? I'm losing faith in humanity." I smiled, suddenly appreciating his presence a lot more than I did five minutes ago. I didn't like admitting it to anyone but Seattle was a lonely place. I knew people, _many_ people, but I didn't want to bother them and guilt them into hanging out with the new girl who goes home and binge watches tv shows instead of going out and mingling like the rest of them. Owen didn't strike me as the annoying friend who stuck his ass everywhere and always wanted to do something. He constantly pulled me to new restaurants he wanted to try, a movie premiere or even something as silly as a sale at his favorite store. I appreciated it.

"The words fat and greasy threw me off. No wonder why you get so tired after roaming around for fifteen minutes only." He answered nonchalantly, still too busy devouring his beloved flavored yogurt.

"Are you calling me unfit?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him.

He studied my form; "Lazy is a better adjective then."

"Hm, thought so," I winked at him and he chuckled, shaking his head at my idiocy. "When's your shift ending?"

"Around 7. I was thinking we go somewhere a bit different tonight, what do you say?" he asked, placing both elbows on the table as he smiled at me. His eyes had a little twinkle to them and I was oblivious as to what he had planned.

"I finish at 5 so you could tell me where we're going and I could meet you there." I sneakily tried to pull the answer out of his mouth but he only smiled at me, knowing my tactics already.

We walked out of the cafeteria and I looked at Owen, still waiting for an answer. "I'll come and pick you up from Derek's, don't worry about it."

"What if I wasn't going home after my shift?" I stood in front of my patient's room, smiling at him.

"See you later, Amelia!" He shouted as he continued walking towards the ER. Sneaky little bastard had something planned and I knew nothing about it. It occupied my thoughts for the next three hours.

 _"I need to know what to wear. Where are we going?"_ I texted Owen as I stood in front of my closet, biting my lip. I had less than an hour to get ready and I didn't have enough time for him to mess with me.

" _Just wear something ull be comfortable in"_ He replied back in less than a minute. Comfortable? That meant we could be going anywhere.

I huffed in annoyance and walked to Meredith's room, knocking twice before barging in. "Mer, Owen said we're going somewhere and he told me to wear something comfortable but I don't know if that meant leggings comfortable or sexy comfortable."

Meredith eyed me suspiciously, "You're going out on a date?"

"Oh no-no, he's been taking me around Seattle and we're going somewhere today but he wouldn't crack and now I don't know what to wear." Meredith was close friends with Cristina and I should've known better than to mention that I was going out with Owen. "Mer-"

"Wear something casual with heels, I guess that'll suffice." She continued reading her book and I decided not to say anything, she was still coping with the death of her sister and the last thing she needed was an angry sister in law. I nodded my head and left the room, preparing myself for the evening.

* * *

"A bar?" I asked, shooting Owen a look. It was filled with people and you could feel the good vibes vibrating from the place, I gripped my cardigan and pulled on it, hoping the temptation would subside. Owen knew nothing of my past and he wouldn't have known that it was better if you put me as far away from a bar as possible.

"You don't like it?" His face dropped and he studied the place, trying to see why I didn't want to be here. "We can go, I had a movie I wanted to watch-"

I didn't hear a word he said, temptation was coursing through my veins. Drinks were passed around and stoned people sat in the corner, already in their own happy bubble. I gripped my cardigan so hard; my knuckles were slowly losing color and were turning white. Owen gripped my arm and pulled me outside, he continued asking me questions and I tried to listen but my mind was not with me. I remembered what it felt like to drink, to swallow the bitter alcohol and give it five minutes to boil in my blood and awaken me. I don't know how long we stood there but the first thing I remember hearing is Derek's voice, calling out my name repeatedly and dragging me to the car.

"Did you give her anything to drink?" Derek asked, his voice filled with worry and anger. Why was he worried?

"No! Everything was going great, I just took her in the bar and it's like she went away. I swear to you, Derek we didn't even approach the bar. I pulled her out as soon as I sensed something was wrong and I called you immediately. What's going on?"

"You shouldn't have gotten her here," Derek hissed and turned around, studying me with eyes of pity. Once we arrived home, Derek called Meredith and asked her to watch me closely while he stood outside the house and argued with Owen. Their words were laced with venom and hatred, to think that I was capable of doing all that. I could've ruined a potentially great friendship because I was a hurricane of everything that's bad in the world. Meredith seemed to care less about what happened and continued reading that book of hers, looking at me every once in a while. Derek walked in and guided me back to my room, informing me that he was there and he would always be here. He voiced his concerns and told me to avoid Owen, he told me he'd take me to a meeting tomorrow as soon as possible and he would stand outside and wait for me since it was his day off. I only remember nodding my head and lying down on the bed, not sure how to feel about what happened in the past hour.

* * *

This chapter is slightly longer than the others and it's my way of saying thank you to everyone who reads the story and takes the time out of their day to write a review. Thank you very much. Reviews are very much appreciated and i'd love to know what you guys think about this chapter so drop one by!


	4. Chapter 4

He was nowhere to be found. I looked for him everywhere, paged him at times when I knew he was supposed to be on call and looked at the OR board so I could find him but he was never there. It's been three days since that night and everyone's been looking at me differently, I'm not entirely sure if it's Owen or Derek's impact. Derek's must've spooked him off the other night, said some nasty things about how spending time with his little sister could make him as crazy as I've become. No one seemed to be worried that Owen wasn't present nor did they get a replacement chief. I hated not knowing what was going on but I let it go. I let Owen do whatever he was doing and I let Derek be Derek. It was all going well until I couldn't do it anymore.

"Page Chief Hunt," I ordered, watching the nurse scatter away to god knows where. Callie continued shouting orders, telling people to start prepping an OR for this emergency surgery of hers. I stopped the gurney and shot her a look, "You're not going anywhere."

"He's going to die, Shepherd. Get out of the way." She pushed the gurney and I ignored the pain, pushing it back towards her to get the gurney off my toe. Callie was fuming and she seemed like she would fight me if we weren't in the middle of the ER. " _Shepherd_."

"I need to do his brain surgery first." I repeated for what felt like the millionth time and she shook her head, grabbing the gurney one more time to push it on my toe. "Your surgery can wait. There's no point in your surgery, successful or not, if he's brain dead by the end of it."

"He won't be."

"You can't guarantee that. Let me do my surgery and then you can do whatever you want." I grumbled, hoping she'd let me have my way before the patient dies on this gurney but I knew how hardheaded Callie was, even after working with her for less than three weeks.

She shook her head once again and looked at the nurse I sent running. "Page Chief Hunt," she ordered, repeating the same words I said less than five minutes ago. The nurse's gaze darted between the both of us and she nodded, taking off once again but this time, Owen appeared five seconds after he got the page. He looked around the room, hoping to find Callie when his gaze caught mine. Derek definitely told him something because it looked like he shit his pants and was debating on whether he should go change them or help us. He walked towards us and looked at the patient before looking at Callie, asking her for an explanation. "I'm trying to get my patient to surgery but Shepherd isn't getting out of the way. She's demanding that the patient could die from a brain bleed on my table if she doesn't do her surgery first. Give me the permission I need and I'll leave before you know it."

Owen looked down at the patient and checked his charts, pondering deeply for a moment before he announced his decision. "Callie, step away from the gurney."

"Hunt, my patient-" Callie started, only to be stopped by Owen who seemed completely sure of his decision.

"He can live without your surgery for at least a day," He said, looking around the room until he spotted a nurse. "Prep OR 2 for a neurosurgery now. It's an emergency and we need all hands on deck in five minutes."

I didn't have anything else to say and I knew that talking to Owen would be a waste of my time since he spoke about me as if I was standing in the OR, waiting for confirmation. I pulled the gurney away from Callie and ran towards the elevator; slightly at ease that Owen was alive and breathing. He just didn't want to see me and I completely understood why.

* * *

"Hey Amy, how was your day?" Derek asked as soon as I stepped in the house. He was throwing a ball against the wall and catching it. You'd know that he's been doing this for hours because he wasn't even looking anymore, it seemed like a habit. He's been extra cautious around me lately and it has done anything but calm me down. I felt like a child who was held captive at her house and I absolutely hated it but I closed my mouth and lived with it.

I dropped my bag on the couch and placed my hands on it, looking at him with a serious expression. "What did you tell Owen the other night?"

"Amy-"

"No, you don't have the right to tell me to stay out of it. You _don't_ have the right!" I shouted, pointing a finger at him. He looked shocked, obviously unaware of how it affected me to be ignored. "You told him something and now he won't come near me or even look at me! What nasty thing did you tell him about me? That I'm an addict? I snort oxy the same way one drinks water? You don't have the right to tell him anything about me or that concerns me. That's _my_ story to tell, not yours! I page the Chief for help and I don't get an answer because of _you_!"

He didn't say anything for a long time, he only observed me. He was still walking on eggshells around me, he knew that I'd eventually snap and he was waiting for it. "He took you to a bar. He isn't good for you."

"How was he supposed to know that? I look like a normal person exteriorly; I've been working on that for years! He wasn't supposed to know that something was wrong with me, Derek. I thought that this place could be a vacation of some sort, pure utter bliss. My days would be filled with surgeries and mindless conversations, I left my baggage in L.A and it seems like the air lane company finally decided to drop them by my doorstep."

"Recovery is a daily battle. You can't just leave your baggage in LA and expect it not to follow you around especially when it impacts your life in such a huge way. It doesn't work like that." Derek announced, clutching his ball firmly in his hand now. I wanted to grab that ball and hit him repeatedly until I had a scalpel in his brain. He said that sentence so often, I had a feeling he'd tattoo it on his forehead to remind me of it. I walked around with this battle every single second of the day and I hated it when people pointed it out, especially Derek out of them all. I couldn't handle his eyes, filled with pity and empathy towards his younger sister and all those gazes that did nothing but remind me of the family I desperately tried to ignore and forget. I looked around the house to notice that Meredith and her book were nowhere to be found, which is why Derek suddenly decided to give a rat's ass about how difficult recovery was. The only thing he'd ever had to "recover" was his hand, the one clutching the ball so hard.

"You say that like I have no idea, like I haven't been dragging my ass across the room with a huge sign following me around reminding me of that." I retorted, annoyed at his pensive face staring back at me. "What did you tell him?"

"Why are you insisting on knowing? I told him to back off. He's no good for you, Amelia."

"You don't get to make those decisions for me, Derek! I didn't say anything when I was younger because I always thought you were the rational one since that's all mom would tell me when she even had the _decency_ to look at me. I can't work there anymore! I can't page the chief every time I feel like my surgery is more important and stand there, _hoping_ he'd come even though I know that he'll smash his head against the wall every time my name pops up. It can't go on like this any longer. Go clear it up; undo whatever you've done."

"You don't need people like him in your life." This was typical Derek talk, he pulled this card out whenever he wanted me to stay away from someone and I don't know what I hated the most at the moment, Derek or his horrible attempt at shutting me up.

"Like him? He's been the nicest person in Seattle so far. You're too busy with your hand, Meredith can barely look at me without puking in her mouth a little, Arizona thinks I only talk to her to check up on how she's handling the handicapped state, Callie now hates me for something I did today and Cristina is Cristina. He's been my only friend here and people like him shouldn't be in my life? Should I always walk behind your shadow?"

"You just don't get it," he grumbled, officially annoyed at how I wasn't understanding the point he was trying to make. "He likes you too much." I looked at him, urging him to continue but he didn't say anything afterwards. Was it wrong to be liked? I tried to put myself in Derek's shoes, to see how he would view the entire situation but I was too frustrated to even bother. Meredith walked in before I had the chance to ask him to clarify himself and Derek's hand immediately let go of the ball he was holding so tightly as he walked towards the door, ready to embrace his sticky note wife. The sentence bothered me a lot more than I liked to admit. I turned down dinner to sit and sulk, trying to come up with a plausible thought. I even considered walking to Owen's trailer, which was all the way in the end of Derek's backyard right next to the woods, to tell me what's wrong but I was too tired to move. My eyelids fluttered shut, leaving my brain to run for the remainder of the day.

* * *

 **Owen's POV.**

Derek shut the door and sighed, rubbing his forehead roughly before looking up at me. My brain was swirling in all directions possible, trying to understand what happened without thinking it through too much. Amelia was all laughs and smiles ten minutes before we entered the bar so I knew it had something to do with the bar. Had something happened in a bar before? She completely shut down and her body stiffened once she noticed where we were and I didn't know what to do. I don't know what I did wrong. "What were you thinking?"

I bit my lip and shook my head, "What was I supposed to be thinking? I wanted to show her around town and I took her to the bar."

"And was she up for it?" Derek asked accusingly, looking at me the same way a prey would look at his predator. He looked a lot like Amelia on the first day she came to Seattle with her furrowed eyebrows and eyes filled with fight. These two were a lot more alike than any of Derek's other sisters that I met.

"I didn't force her into coming anywhere, Derek." I announced, finally getting where his train of thought was leading him. Did Amelia tell him that I forced her to come out with me today? I was frustrated with the lack of answers and the amount of questions bubbling in my head. "I did _not_."

"Did she know where you guys were headed today?" Derek paraphrased. That's when I noticed that Amelia hadn't said a word to him and he was trying to figure it all out on his own. He knew less than I did.

"No, it was supposed to be a surprise."

Derek nodded, glaring at me this time. "What's your motive? What do you want from my sister? She's not your go-to girl to hump and dump. She's not going to be the girl you cheat on your wife with, I refuse to let you even allow your thoughts to think that far. She's not a game you can play with and just throw out once you're done with it."

"Motive? Are you listening to yourself right now?"

"You did it once; I won't be shocked if you did it again." Derek hissed, clearly talking about the time I cheated on Cristina. I put my fists behind my back to restrict myself from doing anything I'd regret in a week and exhaled sharply; I knew how close Cristina and Meredith were and I knew that Derek also had a front seat to the theatric play of my relationship with Cristina but I never expected him to throw it at my face because of something he assumed I'd use his little sister for. Cristina was the last person I wanted to talk about right now and I was hoping that sitting with Amelia might help but it was never in my plan to use her in the way Derek assumed I would.

"That's a low blow, even for you." I spat, stepping back and trying to control my breathing. "Yes, Cristina and I aren't in the best place right now but did you really think I'd use your sister to get my mind off Cristina?"

"That's exactly what I thought. Why did you take her to the bar?"

"Derek, you're overanalyzing everything. I get it, she's your little sister and you'll always be protective of her but I wasn't going to get her drunk and pull her to my trailer or some random motel to leave her in the morning. That's not me; what I did to Cristina was horrible, we both know that and got over it. I'm not that dumb to make the same mistake again and with your little sister. She's my _friend_."

"You're no good for her, Owen. Stay away from her, get off my porch and don't even think about approaching her in the hospital. Get away from my face." He slammed the door and disappeared to the living room, smiling at Amelia and taking her to her room. I felt like Derek's little bitch since I did exactly what he told me to do. I ignored every single page from Amelia, I avoided her and told the entire staff of the hospital that my name on the OR board would be different. I felt like a little child who pushed it to an extreme but everything he said was right about me. Did I ever think about Amelia in a way I wasn't supposed to? Yes. Was I attracted to her? Yes. Did I completely forget about my wife's existence when I was with her? Absolutely. I felt like a pig and I couldn't get the dirt off me. I slept in one of the room's in the hospital's basement, knowing exactly which room most doctors avoid because they heard that rodents lived there. I couldn't sleep the first night, I felt them crawling up my foot but I was just paranoid. I drowned myself in pity and disgust for days until Callie paged me. Callie had been bugging me for days to spill, she thought Cristina had said something and tried to pull it out of my mouth. I walked in the ER to spot Amelia standing next to Callie, grasping the gurney with force before she spotted me. She looked tired, black circles under her eyes and a shocked expression. She stared at me the entire time I communicated with Callie, her eyes drilling holes in the back of my head and I knew she had a lot of questions for me but once I told Callie that Amelia's surgery was more important, she pulled the gurney away from us and ran towards the elevator.

Callie observed the whole scene and smiled to herself, "She's the one who's gotten you smelling horrible for the past few days, huh?"

Her question pulled me out of my daze and I knew that she might think about the entire situation the same way Derek did. I shook my head and looked at Callie, "No, why would you think so?"

"You couldn't even look at her. Did she tell you something?" Callie was like a Derek to me, she was overprotective and her words hurt like knives. I knew better than to talk crap about someone in her presence.

"It's the other way around actually. I indirectly did something wrong and I can't really look at her without feeling that way again." I told myself that I'd go see Amelia today, lie out all the cards in front of her and let her know that I never wanted to take advantage of her. I wanted to clear the air between us, even though I created it because of something Derek told me. I couldn't afford to lose a close friend of mine over doing something he thought I had planned to do to his little sister. "I don't smell. That was quite harsh."

"You smell like sadness. Go wash up, your aura is affecting me. Arizona actually smiled at me today so I'd like to keep this day stored in my memory for as long as possible."

* * *

 **Amelia's POV.**

My days slowly started to feel like a routine I was getting sick of as time went on. I'd go to the cafeteria, wait for twenty minutes to get my fries and as soon as I pick it up, my pocket would vibrate. I groaned angrily, hoping that it isn't something as stupid as falling down your bed. I walked to the ER and spotted Owen standing next to a patient with a huge smile on his face as he ruffled the young boy's hair. I rechecked my pager to make sure that I got the right room and oddly, Owen requested that I come down for a consult. I braced myself and exhaled, walking towards the young boy with the biggest smile I could plaster on my face. The second they noticed my presence, the boy looked at me with a worried expression, looking at Owen then darting back to me. "Luke, this is Dr. Shepherd and she's here for a tiny exam."

Luke looked up at me and smiled, pushing his dark brown locks away from his face. He had such a baby face with bright green eyes filled with hope; he looked a lot like I did at his age. "Hi, Dr. Shepherd."

"Hello, Luke. What were you up to that landed you in the hospital?" I asked while doing the exam. He seemed perfectly fine to me, he didn't even need any additional tests. I glanced at Owen and he only stared back, quiet as ever.

"I was skateboarding, went up the ramp and slipped. My arm hurts a bit but it's just bruised and I sort of landed on my head so Ow- Dr. Hunt thought it would be better if you checked, just to make sure." I nodded my head at him and clapped my hands together, the air was tense and awkward; my job was done here and I couldn't wait to leave as soon as possible but the boy kept looking at me. He looked at me in a way that made me want to sit with him for hours just to hear him talk about all those tricks he learned and what his favorite color was. His eyes were to blame; they captivated me in a way that was unexplainable.

"I hope you had some gear on. A helmet, perhaps?" I asked while checking his charts even though they weren't necessary.

"I did! The last time I was here I didn't and I broke my leg so I learned my lesson. Is anything wrong?" Luke asked with a hint of worry in his tone. I closed his charts and smiled at him in the most reassuring way possible.

"Everything's perfectly fine, you can go home and be a little careful the next time you go skateboarding, alright?" He nodded his head eagerly and pulled his phone out. I looked at Owen and coughed, trying to grab his attention. "Dr. Hunt, a word please?"

Owen looked away from Luke and ruffled his hair once again before closing the curtains and following me to the nurse's station. "Yes, Dr. Shepherd? Is everything alright?"

I bit my lip and thought of the best way to ask my question but I didn't know which question to ask. Where have you been? Why have you been ignoring me? Did I tell you something? What did Derek tell you? Why did you page me when you knew the answer? What's going on? I lightly rubbed my forehead and turned to him, "Everything's perfectly fine, why did you page me Owen?"

He seemed offended at the question and took a step back, studying me. "I'm sorry but the last time I checked, you were the neurosurgeon on call."

"You _know_ that's not what I meant," I snapped, already frustrated at where the conversation was going. "You've been ignoring me for days, you haven't answered any of my pages and when I do see you, you give me your back like a little child."

"I wanted to make sure that he was fine. If I had known that it would get this reaction out of you, I wouldn't have paged you. I would've paged Derek even though I know he's sitting at home."

"Is that supposed to be a threat of some sort?" I was furious now. He's gotten me from frustrated to mad in less than a minute and it was all because he brought up Derek. Derek, who refused to tell me anything about what happened that night; and who coincidentally happened to be the better-known Dr. Shepherd. He was digging a hole for himself and I was happy to help him. "If you always thought of me as a downgrade from Derek's services, you shouldn't have hired me in the first place. I never came here because I wanted to; I hope you keep that in mind. You fire me now and I'll be happy to go back to where I came from."

"You overanalyze my words way too much." He huffed, looking around before meeting my gaze once again. He was looking for an out to this conversation; he wanted to be anywhere but next to me.

"Maybe you should clarify yourself," I spat, exhaling roughly and trying to calm myself. I was worked up over absolutely nothing and I just wanted to grab a tray and give someone a concussion just so he could leave me. "Did he have any symptoms that led you to page me?"

"No, I just wanted to be sure that he's fine." Owen scratched the back of his neck and looked down, deep in thought. "He's a special kid."

"He sure seems like one. How many times has he been here?" I casually asked, knowing that going back to our previous conversation would do no good for either of us. It was a dead end.

"Too many times," He looked back at the boy and smiled. "At first I thought he was doing it on purpose, they investigated the entire family and it turns out that he's just a clumsy boy. He looks like a clumsy child."

"Investigated the family?" I repeated, my voice laced with confusion.

"He's the youngest coming from a family of five. His other siblings called him the oops baby and I thought that they could be annoying him in the wrong way."

"Throwing him off a ramp sort of way." I clarified, trying to get what he was trying to say. He nodded his head and looked at me; that's when I understood everything. He knew that I was the youngest coming from a big family and thought that if I saw the boy, I would know if something was wrong. I knew how elder siblings constantly teased and did things but the boy was handling it perfectly fine, it seemed like he took skateboarding as a hobby to have an escape from his family. "He's fine, Owen. Don't worry too much about it. He seems to be handling it a lot better than I did, though. I was a mess at his age."

"You were?" he asked, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"Oh yeah; I did all sort of things to tick them off the way they ticked me off. I was the youngest so my mother lost all her energy to try and stop four other kids. She told me they were messing around with love, that I was being overly sensitive. I hated those words but I grew up to be the strongest out of them all, or at least that's what I hope happened."

Owen smiled at me and I felt like the past few days hadn't happened. It seemed like everything was suddenly forgotten as he attentively listened to me. "That surely did happen."

"The boy seems to have a special place in your heart." I stated, looking back at the boy as he greeted his parents. They both looked worried out of their minds and it was a reassuring sight; my mom would've scolded me for doing something as reckless as that. The father looked up at Owen and waved before ushering the family out of the ER.

"He does." He announced before his pager buzzed and he ran off, leaving me in an ER filled with commotion.


	5. Chapter 5

**Owen's POV.**

The surgery was tough and that was an understatement. I was well aware that the surgery had a higher percentage of being completely useless rather than actually helping the patient but I went in with high hopes and came back out with shattered dreams and a horrible mood. Cristina was out of town, attending some conference in Switzerland. I was mad that I had to learn about this conference from Jackson Avery, Cristina hadn't even thought of informing me that she would be leaving town for almost two weeks. I slammed the door shut and sighed, rubbing my jaw and clenching my fists. I wanted to run to the bar and drink until I couldn't feel my fingers; I wanted to pretend like this day never happened. Before I could slam my fist on the door, I heard the bed creak and turned around to try and notice who had been staring at me quietly for a few seconds. I switched the lights on and my thoughts were confirmed.

"Hey, you okay?" Amelia asked quietly, rubbing her eyes and trying to adjust her vision. She seemed drowsy and I felt horrible for waking her up. "You know Chief, I think most of your staff would sleep better if they weren't afraid that someone would walk in and slam the door so hard. I thought my heart fell out of my chest."

"I'm sorry," I spat harshly. I continued pacing the room to try and block all my thoughts; I thought about my little puppy, one my mom adopted and decided to name 'fuzzy' even though he was a big bulldog. I thought about the lighter moments in my life but nothing seemed to calm me down, fuzzy normally worked.

"Owen," Amelia whispered, grabbing my arms and planting me on the floor. She was walking on dangerous territory right now and she didn't know anything about me or what I've done. She didn't know about the time I choked Cristina in my sleep because of some nightmare. I was truly a beast hidden under this demeanor and Amelia didn't deserve to see that part of me; No one did. I exhaled deeply and decided to give it another shot, what I wasn't prepared for was the look Amelia had plastered on her face. She didn't seem afraid or curious; she seemed genuinely worried. She slowly rubbed my arms and smiled at me, "We need new comforters. This one was the worst one so far."

I don't know how she did it but for that one split millisecond, I completely forgot about everything and marveled at her beauty. Her eyes twinkled with mischief and her lips twitched whenever she was trying to hold back a snarky remark. I let out a chuckle and smiled at her, _genuinely_ smiled at her. "That explains why no one uses this on call room. Everyone hates the beds here; that's why I assumed it'd be empty. I'm sorry if I scared you and woke you up, I was a little shaken up and too deep in my thoughts."

"Apology accepted. I overslept anyway so I should be thanking you." Derek shouldn't be the reason for not talking to her. He shouldn't be some sort of threat to us and what we had going on… whatever it was. We might be complete opposites and better off without each other but we're both here, at the same place and at the same time so it wouldn't hurt to nourish this friendship that was building up to be strong and steady. I owed her an explanation but where would I start? How could I explain the entire situation without sabotaging her relationship with her brother? They were never this close. Most people only heard about Derek's youngest sibling and nothing more, there was never a name or a face to go with that person. I still wonder why.

I plopped on the couch and she followed suit, her eyes studying me. I licked my lips before I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "I need a drink."

"Don't we all? I need more than just _a_ drink. I need a whole row of shots and tequila. Anything would satisfy me, I just need alcohol in my system." Amelia laughed, looking down at her lap and dusting off invisible dirt.

"I _really_ need a drink." I emphasized for no reason at all. I was not having any coherent thoughts and my mind was still buzzing with self-loath and anger. I wanted to let something absorb me and take me to wonderland, anywhere but here.

"Let's go get something to drink," she immediately stood and walked to the door. As soon as she noticed that I hadn't moved an inch, she cocked her eyebrows and smirked at me. "All talk and no do? Never pegged you to be that type of person, Chief." Despite my horrible state of mind, I knew that this was a bad idea. The last time we were at a bar, she turned into a statue and nothing good came from that situation. It won't be any different this time and I knew better than to tag along and drown myself in alcohol only to notice her frigid state.

I scratched the back of my ear and shot her a half smile, hoping she wouldn't think that Derek's words from the other night had anything to do with this. His words echoed in my brain as I watched her less than ten meters away from me. "I can't, they really need the chief and I have to step up my game. Go to the on call room on the fourth floor, best comforter in the entire hospital. I'll see you around, Dr. Shepherd."

* * *

Passing by Derek's house every night to go up to the trailer never bothered me as much as it did tonight. I sat in my car for five good minutes and debated whether I should go in and just try to reason with him. I wanted him to know about my intentions and how harmless they were to Amelia or maybe I just wanted to go and let him know that I turned her offer down about drinking together. It had been raining earlier today and puddles were everywhere but the air was hot and humid. I lightly knocked on the door and stepped back, gathering my thoughts and hoping that this wasn't a mistake or something I'd regret in the morning. Derek and I got along pretty well and I lived in the man's backyard in his trailer, I didn't want to ruin our friendship over something as false and dumb as this. The door opened to reveal Amelia standing there with a mug in hand and a book under her arm. She looked confused to see me but smiled nevertheless. "Hey Owen. What brings you up here?"

"Is Derek home?" I knew Derek was home. I always checked the list of people who were working when I was not on call; I needed to know that if something went wrong, at least there would be someone to pull the chief coat on and take over for me.

Amelia looked to the side and shook her head, "He actually left to go get Meredith for some movie night thing they're having at someone's house." The air wasn't awkward but it was tense; it seemed like we were both too scared to say anything because it might ruin this little thing we have going on. "You could come in, if you want. I wouldn't mind some company."

The last thing I wanted to do was go in the house and sit with Amelia quietly in the living room and wait thirty minutes until I could lie and say I'm tired so I could run off as fast as possible. But after looking at her expression, I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I could never say no to her. She opened the door a little wider and allowed me in the house, gesturing to the living room and promising she'd be back in a second. She came back with another mug in her hand and put it in front of me, smiling from ear to ear. "Thanks."

"I would normally offer lemonade or something summer-y since it's unbelievably hot outside but a good cup of hot chocolate wouldn't hurt." She sat down on the one person couch and crossed her legs. "… Unless you want something else. I should've asked. I could drink your hot chocolate and get you something else. Do you want anything? Coffee? Tea? Water?"

"Hot chocolate is good. I'm a sucker for it, I'll never turn it down." I chuckled. I'd never seem Amelia squirm in her seat before this moment and I knew that she was nervous about my presence. She looked anxious and I didn't know what to say or do to take her mind off it. "Amelia."

"What happened, Owen?" She turned her body and was now completely facing me. Her eyes were sad and she bit her lip, trying to refrain herself from saying too much or revealing how she possibly felt about it all. Was now the right time to say everything? Was there anything to say? "Everything was going well, everything was _good_."

"Amelia-"

"Was it because of that night at the bar?" Amelia asked, staring at me and practically drilling holes in my forehead. She really thought I just cut ties because of something else rather than that night at the bar? She nodded her head in acknowledgement and laughed without humor, looking at her feet. "Of course it was, what else could it be? I spooked you too much and now you're afraid to come near me like I'm some china that might break if you hold it too hard… Derek didn't tell you anything about me? About why… he didn't tell you anything?"

"Besides telling me that I'm no good for you? No, he didn't." I spat bitterly, emotions getting the best of me. Amelia pulled her lower lip between her teeth and pondered. All my built up anger wasn't supposed to be released on Amelia since she had done nothing wrong. I was about to apologize before she spoke quietly, eyes avoiding my gaze.

"I used to drink… a lot. I drank too much and I haven't been in a bar in almost two years. I did a lot of things I regret and try to push away but for that one night, I wanted to be just like everyone else. I wanted to be _normal_ … but people like us, we don't get to be normal and hang out at bars after work. We don't get to have a glass of wine at the dinner table or at weddings. We don't _get_ to be normal." Amelia said, finally meeting my eyes. "As soon as we pulled up next to the bar, I knew what I was doing. I was fully aware of the fact that in less than two minutes, I'll be walking in and I might finally have the chance to pretend I was like everyone else. I was so _stupid_. Everything was going just fine until I stepped in; it was like I stepped in a time machine that took me back two years and my whole past flashed in my eyes. I don't want to be in that place anymore, Owen. I was going through shock and I honestly don't know what Derek told you but he probably said that because he was afraid I'd fall down that hole again. I'm sorry."

It took me a few seconds to digest her words and understand what she just told me. Amelia didn't even look like a person who went through all that and that's when I noticed that there were a lot of layers to peel. There were a lot more than I thought and this was my chance to run and leave her and her mess behind. But even I knew that I didn't want that. I walked towards her and pulled her on my lap, hugging her from behind. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone, no one knows and I plan to keep it that way. I don't want people to look at me differently because of what happened in the past." The suddenly gloomy air faded as soon as I tickled her waist and she sprung up defensively, holding her hands out. "Don't you dare!"

Maybe coming all the way to the house was worth it; it didn't go as I planned but it went better than I planned. The puzzle was slowly being fixed after someone scattered all the pieces away and I was actually happy. Things were finally going my way.


	6. Chapter 6

"Just look at her," Owen muttered bitterly, swallowing another mouthful of flavored yogurt. It was a rare sight to see a big, strong man like Owen pout like a six-year-old child and complain. I didn't turn around to see who he was talking about since I had a clear image of who it might be. "She's practically eye fucking him with me in the same room."

That sentence caused me to turn around but I was greeted with Cristina playing with her food, occasionally looking up and giving the man some attention. I looked back at Owen and tried to stifle my laugh. He was adorable when he was jealous. Plus, he had a little yogurt on his nose but telling him would only ruin the moment. "Are we looking at the same person?"

Owen shot me a glare and put his yogurt on the tray. He grabbed another one and started eating it like a hungry monster. I raised my eyebrow at the sight and smiled; he was a sad eater. He had already eaten two full cups and he had six more on his tray, waiting for him to devour them. "She couldn't wait for it to happen. I spent five years of my life with her and she threw me in the garbage so easily."

"You sound like one of my girlfriends," I muttered, crossing my legs and leaning back on the chair to get comfortable. It felt like it was going to be a long day that consisted of Owen complaining about Cristina leaving him. Ever since she came back from her conference, the air was tense and I tried my best to be as far away from them as possible. Cristina wasn't my biggest fan and neither was I; the best thing to do was to avoid each other unless we _had_ to work together. One day, Owen approached Cristina and told her about how mad he was at her for leaving and going to the conference without even telling him and it opened a can of worms. It was worse than a can of worms. Everyone heard them fight, except for me since I was clipping a boring aneurysm with Derek. We both knew something was up as soon as we left the scrub room and I knew it was really bad when Owen called me, drunk out of his mind. I fell asleep two hours in the phone call, my exhaustion from the previous day getting the best of me.

Owen's angry demeanor dropped, a smirk suddenly plastered on his face. "Oh, I didn't know you played for the other team?" He chuckled at his own remark and I smiled, happy he finally stopped being the bitter child he was for the past two days.

"Well, I guess you'll never really know now." I winked at him, grabbing his water bottle and twisting the cap. He laughed loudly and looked down at his pager, an apologetic expression on his face once he looked up. "No worries. Go. Just don't keep your disgusting yogurt next to me."

"I'll hand them to people who actually _appreciate_ the delight called flavored yogurt." He said, grabbing the other six and walking away, flashing me a smile in the process.

I watched his retreating figure leave the cafeteria, not before flashing smiles to all the familiar faces and passing cups of his flavored yogurt around. There was something about him that was different from everyone else and I still couldn't wrap my finger around what it actually was. Maybe I felt that way because he was my only actual friend here in Seattle and because I didn't sit well with others (who knew that being known as Derek Shepherd's little sister could earn you a couple of weird glances and an awkward conversation right away?). I was constantly told that I was too intimidating at a first glance and that I rub people in the wrong way, which isn't always so bad. I normally take great pride when people admit to finding me intimidating since in my line of work, it'd mean being taken seriously by the interns and residents. Heck, even the doctors! But this time I wished I wasn't like that, it was starting to get a little lonely. I pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear and grabbed my phone, hoping that some medical articles would keep me busy until I was paged for something.

I felt someone looking at me and raised my head, only to catch Derek standing there with a tray in hand. This was his way of silently begging me to let him sit with me and engross in a completely normal conversation, as if what happened back at the dream house could've been forgotten that easily. I waited for him to ask the question, raising an eyebrow at him but he was frozen in his place. His eyes were robotically scanning me, probably trying to guess how angry I'd be if he opened a specific can of worms but he did nothing to initiate the conversation, which worried me a lot more than I liked to admit. I cocked my head to the side and licked my lips, the tension in the air leaving me monumentally confused. "Derek?" I asked, studying him a lot more thoroughly now. Something was definitely wrong.

He opened his mouth, ready to speak before his phone blared out loudly. The noise shook him a little and he sighed, balancing the tray on his knee as he blindly searched for the phone hidden somewhere in his pocket. After giving the screen a quick glance, he placed his tray on the table and ran off; only confusing me even more. It must've been an urgent call that he couldn't dodge.

I decided to wait for him to come back and retrieve his tray filled with food but after ten minutes of waiting, I wondered if he was scheduled to an emergency surgery. To say that Derek was acting in a very odd manner today did nothing to calm me down or ease the sudden surge of worries that erupted in me. I put all my worries away when April paged me; pulling me out of this decapitated state Derek threw me in. The ER was empty, a sight that was so rare after the eruption of multiple natural disasters that happened in the past two weeks. I caught April waving at me from Trauma Room 3, walking there with a huge smile plastered on my face. What I didn't expect to see was Sammy, a girl who reminded me of the darkest days in my life. I gulped at the sight of her and shot April a look, not completely understanding why I was paged when Derek was in charge of consults today. She shrugged her shoulders and mouthed something to me, which I didn't get but nodded nevertheless, focusing on the patient instead. Derek could wait, he's a big boy and he can handle himself no matter how far he dug the hole he was currently in.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Shepherd and I'm just here for a small assessment. Do you mind?" I knew she didn't remember me and I don't blame her. Despite the fact that we spent numerous hours together and I told her things I didn't even know about myself, I was thankful she didn't remember. Some things were better off forgotten, including the mess I was a couple of years back. Her brown to reddish hair was ruffled and her eyes darted from one place to the other, trying to get a proper look of her surroundings. She nodded her head at me and I approached her, checking her pupils and making sure she didn't have a concussion. Once I completed my assessment, I clapped my hands and removed my gloves, disposing them in the trash bin next to April. "What happened?"

April straightened her back and leaned backwards, trying to make it look like she was stretching. She was a horrible actress, good thing she picked up medicine instead. "No idea, a patient found her lying unconscious on the floor outside the ER. She hasn't spoken yet, I think she's in shock and I needed to know everything was going well in the brain department. Concussion?" April whispered back, holding her tablet near her chest. She had a new patient document opened but the entire thing was empty and my heart dropped, wishing I could help an old friend without giving too much away about my own past.

"Everything's great here, no signs of a concussion but we're going to need some information to know what exactly we're looking for," I announced loudly, answering April's question indirectly and hoping to ease Sammy's fears I slowly approached her, a smile plastered on my face. She didn't look like the twenty something year old I remember, she definitely aged a lot since the last time I saw her. Her teeth had lost their shine, a bright yellow instead. Her green eyes weren't twinkling anymore, now masked with all the problems and grief she'd encountered in life. "Sammy, we need your help so can you please tell me what's the last thing you remember?"

"How do you know my name?" She croaked, a sign that her throat was dry. I mentally slapped myself for the slip up and turned to April, hoping she'd help me out this one but April stood there with furrowed eyebrows, curiosity getting the best of her. I clenched my fist and flashed her another smile, putting some distance between us and pouring her a glass of water. My hand slightly shook from how nervous I was for the slip up but I tried my best to cover it up, flashing Sammy a smile that was supposed to be reassuring. I walked towards her and handed her the glass, trying to contain my nerves and control the shaking. She studied me this time, probably getting a vibe that she knew me and I wanted to run off and go somewhere else, hide in the neurology department and stuff my face in paperwork. I wasn't supposed to be down here anyway, this wasn't supposed to happen. But it did, and I was a firm believer that everything happened for a reason even when you fail to understand what the reason was at the time. I pulled at my fingers anxiously and looked back at April again, trying to find a way out but I knew I was going to be pestered about it for the rest of the day unless I cleared the air up.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like a Samantha?" I lied, hoping it covered everything up. She furrowed her eyebrows and subconsciously rubbed her hand on her forehead, clearing the sweat from her forehead. I bit my lip anxiously, not knowing what i had done to anyone to land in this awkward position. Was this some kind of setup? Was i supposed to make a confession so the cameras would roll out and people would point and laugh, telling me I was punk'd? It made me feel uneasy and I cursed Derek for not doing what he was supposed to do today. He was going to get a long speech from his boss and his little sister for not doing what was required of him.

"No," Sammy answered, shaking her head. "It's Sammy, not _Samantha_. I was supposed to be named Maria but my mom said I looked like a Sammy so I guess I've been told?" Of course I knew all of that. I knew all about her life as a child since that's all she talked about at meetings and some things just stick in your memory and never leave, this being one of them. I flashed a smile at her and nodded my head at April, letting her know that she could take it from here. She was still skeptical about the whole thing but her demeanor changed and she walked closer to Sammy, asking her mandatory questions and allowing me to leave the room.

The whole situation made me feel like I was stuck in a cage and I had to leave the hospital as fast as I could, running off and sitting on one of the benches outside. The air was cold and breezy tonight, unlike the other days. It wasn't too cold or too hot but the hairs on my arms stood up and I dismissed it as fear; fear of my past slowly catching up on me and kicking me on the backside, like it always did. I inhaled and allowed the fresh hair in through my nostrils, trying to visibly and emotionally calm down. Due to all the tension in my body, I failed to notice that Owen was seated a bench away from me with a hint of a smile on his face. As soon as I looked up and caught him staring, he walked towards me and plopped down on the chair. He opened his mouth to start speaking before I interrupted him, not in the mood for his antics right now, "Listen, I'm normally up for this lady talk we've had going on for a while but I _really_ would prefer if you didn't talk about Cristina right now."

He looked at me with his mouth agape and sat a little closer to me, throwing his arm on my other side without touching me. His arm was on the bench and remained a good distance from my shoulders, which helped me relax even more. I was all for personal space when I felt like I was a volcano that was about to burst and burn everyone with her flames. "Actually," he started, shifting his gaze and meeting mine. He seemed content, and a lot more relaxed than he was back in the cafeteria. "I was going to tell you a funny story about what happened to my yogurt cups but you look like you're about to burst so I thought, maybe my presence would comfort you? I don't like being alone with my own thoughts when something goes wrong, thought you might appreciate the effort."

I immediately swallowed my pride and felt unbelievably guilty for shutting him down before he had the chance to say anything. I sighed and looked up at the clear night sky, twinkling with tiny little stars with no signs of any clouds. As much as i hated to admit it and denied it every time someone said so, I ran away from L.A as soon as Derek proposed the idea of replacing him because I knew that my past wouldn't bite me in the ass for my couple of months here. I wanted a fresh start, a clean slate, even if it were for only a couple of months. I missed home a lot, true, but the air was eerie there, filled with my demons and their memory engulfing me and throwing me in the wrong direction. Seattle has been good to me, excluding a couple of days, but i wasn't greeted by any of those haunting memories that live in every step i take in L.A. Maybe that was partly why I overreacted and had a freak out when i saw someone whom I'd met in L.A. at a meeting where i publically discussed my problems and struggles. I knew that these people wouldn't live in that city forever, and that my story and face would follow them around the same way theirs followed me around but i never wanted my past to collide with my professional life.

And that's exactly what happened today.

Owen crossed his legs and repeatedly tapped his hand on his foot, creating a beat of some sort. I pulled at my fingers, a bad tick that appeared when I was anxious, and turned to him. "I'm sorry, something happened inside and I'm still thinking about it. Tell me about your yogurt cups. Did you accidentally drop it on a child? Threw it on an ex? Cristina, specifically?"

He smiled at the scenarios I threw his way and blew out a breath. His mind was as occupied as mine. "I wish, they sound a lot more interesting than what I was about to say. Can i exaggerate and create a more interesting sounding story?" His eyes glimmered in the dark, coming off a little more green than blue and all I wanted to do was sit in the moonlight and study them thoroughly.

"Don't you always?" I smirked, bumping into his shoulder and giggling lightly. He gasped, an offended look on his face and shook his head at me. "So you're trying to tell me that your story about some bee entering one nostril and coming out of the other was true?"

"It is! You know what, I'm not going to spend one more second convincing you that it happened, you end up laughing every time i get close to finishing my story. You haven't even heard the entire thing before you're wiping tears from your eyes and saying 'Owen, please stop being nearly as melodramatic as my annoying sister Nancy'." Every time he attempted to complete the story, I'd burst out in laughter from how ridiculous he sounded. The first time he told me the story we were sitting in the cafeteria and i was drinking apple juice, which came out of my nose from how hard i was laughing. I could still feel the juice spill from my nose whenever he reminded me of that story. "What's gotten you so worked up? A patient?"

I didn't want to lie to him about what happened but I also didn't think it was time to share my deepest and darkest secrets about my days as an addict. He knew about my drinking but it never went overboard, I never turned into an alcoholic. People would look at you differently when they learn that you were hooked on oxy, often spiting that you're an oxy girl. It was a fact, they weren't wrong but it dug at my heart to think I was still that person in someone's eyes. Owen dropped his head on my shoulder and inhaled deeply, the day's activities finally getting to him. "It's Derek." I admitted, partly admitting the truth. What bugged me wasn't what happened to Derek but he worried me today and I wasn't completely lying. "He was acting all weird on me today."

"Not again." Owen grumbled, moving a little closer to me and moving until he found a comfortable position on my shoulder. "When is he going to let it go? Don't get me wrong, he's my friend but-"

"No no," I interrupted, shaking my head at his line of thought. He was nowhere close. "It's not because of us. He seemed out of it today at the cafeteria and he ran off. I was paged for a consult in the ER, where Derek normally works since that's what I assigned him to do, consults and all. He wasn't there, even April was shocked to see me there." The whole situation bothered me again but I didn't want to run to him if this was some scheme he had going on. I wasn't going to fall back in his arms. Derek and I weren't exactly in speaking terms, only communicating if it was completely necessary.

Owen shrugged, moving away from me and studying my expression. I looked away insecurely and exhaled deeply, ready to go back home even though my shift would end in another four hours. "I haven't seen him today, want me to check up on him?"

I huffed, blowing air and watching a strand of hair fly away from my face only to fall back in front of my eyes. "I'll do it, this conversation has been delayed for too long. I need to get it over with." Owen gave me a half smile and pushed the strand of hair behind my ear, leaving his fingers next to my earlobe. His presence was undeniably comforting and it scared me a little bit, to be so used to someone's presence after knowing him for less than two months.

Owen leaned in and placed a soft delicate kiss on my cheek, standing up and grinning at me. "Good luck with that. I'll see you later in the morgue, call me later if you're not dead by then."

I flashed him a small smile and shook my head at how dramatic he could be. After sitting by myself for a good ten minutes, I pushed myself to my feet and went looking for my brother. I didn't know whether I was mentally prepared for this conversation since I wasn't aware of how it would end up.

* * *

I shuffled up the stairs towards the porch, exhaustion slowly catching up to me from the day's activities. Sammy insisted to keep me as her doctor and April wasn't too happy about it, now she was completely sure that something was up and she spent the remainder of my shift bugging me about it. She requested me for consults even when the patient didn't need one and I grumbled angrily, wishing I could ignore the buzz of the pager. She was crying wolf way too many times and I was afraid the time I decided to ignore her, she'd actually need me. Derek went MIA, nowhere around and Meredith wasn't at home, which was why I was stuck outside the house. I tried to budge one of the windows but I eventually gave up, deciding that sleeping on the porch is the best thing I could reason with until one of them came back home and pulled me in. But my heart sank a little; somehow knowing these two wouldn't be home any time soon. I threw myself on the wooden chair, sighing at the sudden contact.

The idea of calling Owen continuously swarmed around my head. Maybe he had spare keys, which was almost impossible since I didn't and I practically lived with them for the time being. The night got colder as time progressed and I shivered, the cold air hitting me like a punch in the gut. I tried to find the trailer from my seat but it was hidden among the trees and darkness, suddenly making me feel a lot lonelier than I felt seconds ago. I was never one who'd shy away from asking requests of someone but I didn't sit well with me to call Owen, who might possibly be asleep, just to bunk in or ask for spare keys that I knew he didn't have. I snuggled in the chair and made myself comfortable, discarding my leather jacket and draping it over my chest as a blanket. It felt a little cramped but it was the best I could do. My body was too exhausted to catch another ferry and drive back to the city to stay at a hotel or motel.

I woke up to sudden movement, immediately waking up and stepping away from the chair. I held my hands out defensively, ready to attack whoever was touching me only to be greeted by an amused Owen. The night was still dark, which meant that I hadn't been sleeping for too long and I sighed, my racing heart slowing down. "Owen…" I whispered, fear seeping from my body.

Owen slowly walked closer to me, afraid that he might startle me. Once he noticed that it was okay, he pulled me to his embrace and I held on to him as tight as I could, grasping his jacket and pulling it closer to me. Owen rubbed my arms up and down, checking my temperature by putting a hand on my forehead. He creased his eyebrows and whispered, "Amelia, you're freezing. How long have you been here?"

I rattled my brain in deep thought but my frozen state didn't really help me concentrate on the task at hand. Owen noticed the struggle and placed his arm around my shoulder, lightly grasping my elbow and ushering me towards the trailer. The walk felt excruciating long but I blamed how numb my fingers felt, cursing Seattle's weather. This place was no L.A., you couldn't just wake up because of the amount of sweat dripping from your forehead. You'd actually get hypothermia here and the idea didn't even cross my head. Once we entered the trailer, Owen placed me on the couch and ran off, coming back with a steaming hot cup of hot chocolate and at least a dozen blankets in hand. He pulled me back up and helped me out of my jacket, carelessly throwing it on the couch. I would normally scold him for doing that and possibly wrinkling my favorite leather jacket but I had no fight in me, even the thought of fighting him was exhausting. He placed a long sleeved shirt and a pair of boxers in my hands, shooting a smile my way. "Change into these, I'll go make you something to eat and I'll be back." It was obvious he was running away because he didn't want to see my state of undress and I lightly smiled at his chivalry, tugging my shirt and putting it beside me.

Once I was dressed, Owen walked back in the living room with a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches in hand. He seemed to change into something more comfortable as well, a small grin attached to his face. He placed it on the table, grabbing two blankets and wrapping it around my shoulders. He handed me my cup of coffee and put the plate next to me on the chair so I wouldn't have to move too much if I wanted to grab it. "Thanks," I hoarsely mumbled, teeth still rattling from the cold. "If it weren't for you, I would've died of hypothermia."

Owen pointed to my clothes and ran off to the bathroom, probably to throw it in the banister. He came back and a chuckled rolled out of him, seating himself on the chair beside me. "And you say I'm the dramatic one."

"You're a lot more than dramatic," I stated, pulling the blankets closer to my chest and closing my eyes. Silence filled the air for a long time and i was convinced that Owen was either asleep or in his bed but it took too much effort to bother myself and check. I grasped the cup in my hand and brought it to my lips, taking a small sip and sighing in contentment. He remembered that i liked hot chocolate and it pulled a couple of strings in my heart. "How's your day been?" I asked, throwing the question in the air. If he were still here and awake, I would know.

A loud sigh was released and you could hear him move, trying to get in a comfortable position. "It's been going. I've been avoiding a lot of things by throwing myself in piles of work and I've never been so thankful to be Chief. First off, you get to scold people and second, you always have work waiting for you in that cramped office. No matter how much you finish before you leave, you'll still come back to more. Which is good, I'm not complaining. Sometimes you need a break from chaos and sometimes you need a chaos from the break."

"Your words are no longer coherent," I said, finally opening my eyes. Owen was laying down on his side with his feet on the table and a blanket cuddled up to his chin. If it weren't for his mumbling a couple of seconds ago, I would've thought he abandoned me and fell asleep. He looked horrible; he looked like someone dragged him in the dirt and never bothered to help clean the mess they made. He looked tired and I knew that staying here would delay whatever sleeping plans he originally had made on the way home. I stood up, still holding both blankets that were on my shoulders and I tiptoed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Owen asked, eyes wide and sleep no longer consuming him. I cringed at being caught and turned around red handed, just watching him watch me. He seemed confused to see me moving from my place when almost an hour ago, my teeth were clattering so loudly.

"Home. Thank you for taking care of me, and all but I've outstayed my visit so I'm just going to go home and sleep." My family constantly praised me for being a very good liar. They'd sometimes stare at me for hours because they couldn't compartmentalize my lies from my truths. But with Owen, i couldn't lie. I was a horrible liar. He had some sort of charm that changed so many qualities i knew i had of myself. He cocked his head to the side and watched me incredulously, knowing that I was locked out and going back there would only result in me freezing to death this time.

"You don't have to go. My home is your home too, take the bed. I'm comfortable here."

"I can't let you do that," I mumbled quietly, sudden feeling very small and shy around him. He chuckled softy and stood up, dropping his blanket on the floor. He approached me undeniably slow, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him. Before I could acknowledge anything, he bended down and carried me bride style. A squeal escaped me in shock and I held on to his shirt, giggling along with him. Once he was about a foot away from the bed, he swung me to the back and threw me on the bed, which resulted in a loud scream and a very loud creak the bed made. Owen crawled his way towards me and leaned on the headboard, chuckling so hard. "Shut _up_! It's not funny!"

"Amelia Shepherd," he gasped, laughter continuously bubbling out of his mouth. "Brilliant neurosurgeon is scared of _heights_? Who would've known?" I shoved his chest and crossed my arms, throwing my best pouty face at him. He mimicked me and my heart clenched, his face too adorable to handle. Was it possible that I might be developing feelings for Owen Hunt? I shook the thought out of my head and pulled the blanket out, hiding under the covers and closing my eyes. Owen scooted a little closer and tapped his fingers on the side of my neck lightly, trying to rouse me or get a reaction out of me.

Before I could say anything or push him away, his phone started buzzing and he sighed, completely annoyed for the interruption. "Are you on call?" I asked, completely abandoning the idea when I first saw him on the porch. The possibility never struck.

"No," he answered. I turned around and caught Owen with furrowed eyebrows and a creased forehead while looking at his phone. He caught my gaze and I immediately knew something was up; I slowly sat up and stared at him. "It's Derek."


End file.
